Tag: Mom

  • New Year’s Goals and Resolutions, Anyone?

    A look back at 2021

    It was a stressful, agonizing year. In March, an ambulance took my mother to the hospital and then later to a rehab facility. Sadly, she could no longer stay in the home she’d been in for seventeen years, so rehab transferred her to a long-term care facility. And we knew it was the final stop.

    Life is a vapor. It passes by so quickly. And it was never clearer to me than this year.

    From April until September, I traveled to my mother’s condo eight hours away and spent two weeks out of every month going through the accumulations of her lifetime, which included many of my grandmother’s possessions.

    My mother’s place was a showcase for Better Homes & Gardens. She loved to decorate, and it showed in every room of her home. With five adult grandchildren and twelve grandchildren, much of what my mother owned, no one wanted. Some things went to Salvation Army, some things will be sold, and some things were pitched. I kept the best of the best.

    I sorted through vast amounts of paper, photos, and memorabilia that made me cry and saddened me. At one point, my daughters came for the weekend to help sort through her kitchen and dining room. With two china cabinets, one in the dining room and one in the living room, I could tell my daughters stories of the assorted items in her cupboards.

    Memories flooded my soul. What I remember most were the Thanksgiving dinners. It was her holiday to shine and one we all loved. Mom started collecting Franciscan Apple dinnerware almost sixty years ago. Until the manufacturer brought out new pieces back in the late 90s, she owned every piece ever made. The collection is astounding and one I will not part with, even though those fabulous dinners are a thing of the past because family members are scattered all over the east coast. I will take the dining room set because it is something my mother cherished along with those dishes.

    She set the table with fine linen, candles, and a centerpiece. She’d set the table the night before and then got up at four or five in the morning to stuff the bird and get everything ready for a meal at two.

    We haven’t seen a Thanksgiving like that for twenty years. And it’s OK because I have the memories. What is sad is that my grandchildren will never know the fun times we had around the dinner table playing trivial pursuit or cards. Those days are long gone because electronics and Netflix have taken their place.

    There are still many things to do before the home goes on the market in 2022, but I’m on the downside of the hill. Oh, there will be more memories as I transport the many boxes and the dining room to my home, but for now I’m coming to terms with my mother’s passing and that life changes. Sometimes daily.

    I never expected that my mother would die this year. I expected she’d live for another five years, but I’m thankful I also made sure everything I planned for her funeral ahead of time. It eased the stress when I got the phone call. There were still things to take care of, but we banded together and got it done.

    Examining the past helps us to make way for the future, which leads me to resolutions and goals for the New Year.

    Until last year, I set no New Year’s resolutions or goals. It seemed foolish to me. But last year, I decided I needed writing goals. I had made no personal goals, though.

    Aside from the many trips I took, what did I accomplish last year?

    Amid those terrible times, I wrote three books and took classes including a month-long conference which I never completed because my mother passed away right in the middle of the class in October, and I was trying to finish a Christmas novel I planned to publish on Thanksgiving. That didn’t happen, but I worked long hours to ensure the book came out before Christmas, and it did.

    I accomplished one writing goal, and that was to publish four books in 2021. Although one of them was a compilation or boxed set of the first three books in the Women of Worthy series, it still took time and effort to get it published. And I’m taking it as my fourth book. Since I managed  to complete that goal, I’m making the same goal for 2022.

    One of my goals for the new year is to complete the October course so I can get started on book six of my series.

    My goal was to attend one online writing conference, and I attended one and a half.

    So many goals went untouched this year, but I reached those two goals. Considering the year, I’m thankful I achieved them.

    My social media goals? Forget it. Those went by the wayside. But that’s OK because some of them grew despite my lack of attention. And that’s a good thing.

    This year, I will, however, not only have writing goals which I will monitor throughout the year, but I’ll have personal goals. The usual lose weight is always at the top of the list, along with household goals. I’ve set up a calendar with those goals.

    My word for the year is… perseverance. We’ll see how that works out in 2022.

    And my prayer for everyone is to have a much better year next year. Have a safe and prosperous New Year!

     

  • Mother’s Day 2020

    Today is Mother’s Day 2020.  It’s a happy, yet sad day.  Many of us cannot give our mothers a hug and a kiss and a pot of flowers or a box of candy because she is in a heavenly place or lives across the country. But those whose mothers live nearby may not have the ability to visit their mother because of COVID-19.  It’s a poignant reminder of what we have lost. While this pandemic has taken its toll on society, we, as a people, can use alternate methods to honor our mothers.

    When I checked Facebook this morning, an array of mother’s photos were posted.  Along with the tribute, the photos tell the stories of each woman. And such lovely women they are!  What an honor to them that their children took the time to scan and post their photos to bless them. I love this aspect of Facebook because we wouldn’t be able to see those lovely photos otherwise, particularly photos of classmates, colleagues’ and other family members mother’s photos. From the 1940s through today, those photos tell the story of each woman’s life.

    My own mother lives ten hours away.  She is housebound now and will be alone all day.  While we will call her and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day, it’s not the same as being in the same room to be able to give her a hug and flowers…in my case, I’d give her a box of candy since she’s not a big fan of fresh flowers because of allergies. This is a photo of her (with the corsage) on the day of her engagement to my father.

    Some years ago, we moved to Germany and missed a U. S. Mother’s Day that year.  But my children planned a surprise 80th birthday for my mother, so I hopped a plane and surprised her for her 80th surprise birthday party.  She thought I was the surprise.  Little did she know that a party had been planned for her with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren along with her sibling.  This is a photo of her upon my arrival and a photo of her at the surprise party. 

    As she ages, she has moments of confusion and forgetfulness and it’s difficult to watch but I’m hoping today will be a good day.

    For all those who are feeling the pain of not being able to hug your mother, I pray for comfort and peace this day.  May your memories of your mother give you a warmth that will keep you for the entire year.

    Those of us fortunate enough to have children and grandchildren. The day is a reminder of the cycle of life and a testimony of the love of family.  My children also live many hours away and this has been the case for many years. I have already heard from one of my children and the smiles and love felt over the phone will never replace the hugs and kisses of being in the same room.  But I know that one day we will be together in heaven and never far away again.

    For all the mothers reading this, I wish you a very blessed Mother’s Day filled with love, happiness, and laughter.